Nothing says “hot summer day” quite like “dark coffee Porter” right? Taking some coffee beer out for a test drive isn’t something you should do drinking outside or even within 30 feet of a door right now. Just too hot. 

But with the AC pumping and FOX lumbering along with their Father’s Day final round coverage of the US Open, it felt like a good time to compare a pair of coffee beers.

In particular, Fullsteam’s Coffee Is For Closers porter and Raleigh Brewing’s Hidden Pipe porter, both of which Mrs. Brinson and I did a blind taste test of Sunday afternoon.

Fullsteam’s Coffee Is For Closers: This is a whole different beer out of the can. Both versions are good but when you drink it from Fullsteam’s stylish homage to Glengarry Glen Ross it has far more coffee kick to it.

There’s a heavy roasted bean flavor and it primarily tastes like you’re drinking black iced coffee. 

Raleigh Brewing’s Hidden Pipe: This is more like a latte than it is coffee. Or, at least, it tastes more like coffee with creamer in it. Pouring it out into the glass is a surprise if you’ve had it before, because there’s reason to expect it to be light brown.

There’s still plenty of coffee bean flavor but it’s less intense.

Verdict: I could absolutely tell which beer I was drinking when I was handed the cups (even after closing my eyes and spinning around twice, sigh). Maybe that’s because I’ve had each before, but to me there was a clear difference in the way the coffee was presented.

Give me the Fullsteam porter all day long. I like my coffee like I like my women (thrown in a burlap sack and tossed over the back of a mule) but I also like my coffee sans cream and sugar at all times. 

Mrs. Brinson went the other way, leaning towards the Raleigh Brewing offering. It’s much (?) sweeter and certainly less “roasted” which might make it the more approachable beer, insofar as the general public goes.